EARTHLY ATTACHMENTS

“If you can still remember your dream, it wasn’t a dream, It was a message.”

I felt devastated when I saw you leave me for her,
I’ve never seen her in real life,
I was astonished by her cheek bones and her prideful demeanor.
I saw the joy she felt to be able to see the pain in my eyes,
as you walked away beside her.
As soon as you disappeared, I felt a huge sense of support coming my way.
Your mother appeared and held my hand, as I comforted our child in my arms.
I packed everything and I left our home with this huge emptiness in my heart.
I suddenly arrived at a shop, oddly enough to buy a PS5.
I then took a stroll, and arrived at some high rise condominiums.
I had arrived at my new home,
In the moment I felt like a miracle had happened,
I had so many questions as to how did I achieved this..
I was Flabbergasted as soon as i opened the door to our new home.
There we were, just me and baby girl ready to enjoy our new life away from chaos.
And suddenly that emptiness and darkness completely banished and I was finally at peace.

A prayer to remember

The Lord is my Shepard, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside quiet waters,
He refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk,
through the darkest valley
I will fear no evil,
For you are with me;
Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence
of my enemies,
You anoint my head with oil,
My cup overflows,
Surely your goodness and love will follow me,
all the days of my life.
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Amen.

You are 3 months and 10 days old today.

You smile more now and love to eat your hands, sometimes just one finger and when we take it out of your mouth you scream and cry.

You can turn on your back now when i have you on tummy time, it fills me with so much joy to see you grow, but please slow down.

You laugh when we blow raspberries.

Daddy only knows how to put you to sleep one way, and it hurts his back so much. But he doesn’t stop until you close your eyes.

You kick at about 100mph.

You burp so much faster, it used to take me so long to burp you when you were just a few weeks old.

When we first brought you home you slept every other hour and it was exhausting. Now you go to sleep by 1:30 am and stay asleep between 6-9 hours.

If im carrying you and you are overtired, you cry loud, get red, push your head back and pull your hair.

You love to be pampered. You love when i change your diaper and bath time is delightful to you, and when mommy kisses your feet it makes you smile.

You are drinking sooo much more milk now, and mommy is giving you organic formula so its not cheap.

You try to talk, you randomly say words like “agoo, ooh ooh (like an owl), hiiiiii, ahh ahh (when u want attention), and i promise you said “mum” once but still not considered your first official word.

If someone walks by you, you follow them with your eyes.

You love loud music, when grandpa plays dj you go to sleep so fast, but if its too quiet you wake up.

You HATE when i take out your boogies, and any accessory or hat on your head.

You sometimes sweat, and smell like pancake syrup.

You’re wonderful my little peanut. Mommy and Daddy love you so much ❤

1. My Creator,

Allow my organs to function the way you designed them to so that I never get sick.

Cleanse my blood so that it can nurture my organs and flow at a steady pace throughout my body.

Replace the negative for positive thinking, so that it can reflect my actions.

Free me from the chain attaching me to my ancestors so that i can bear children to only one man.

Provide me with the creativity so that i can give my daughter a better life.

Use me to radiate unconditional love so that I can bring peace to whoever i cross paths with.

Forgive me for not being able to control the wolves inside my mind, and for being attached to earthly things.

– Your Child